My Journey with Body Positivity and My Not-So-Aha Moment

All my life I have been overweight or had struggled with weight loss. I started dieting at a young age and I can't remember a time I wasn't worried about my weight or shape.

After a string of dramatic events, I finally said to myself I would stop trying to lose weight and focus on other issues in my life. All these events connect to a much bigger story that I may share down the road, but I basically started to focus on other areas of my life. I worked on my mental health, school, work and body acceptance.

I found a community on tumblr.com that expressed body positivity and acceptance. I remember feeling astonished that there were a group of people that just loved themselves and accepted themselves for who they are. After reading and following their blogs, I slowly learned to love and accept all the things about myself. Not only my body, but myself as a human being. I started to understand that I was deserving of love and respect from the people around me and I didn't need to constantly try to improve myself to earn that from others.
Body positivity and acceptance is something that can take a long time, but when you surround yourself with such positive people (like all these bloggers), it makes it a lot easier to start believing. I can honestly say that body positivity changed and saved my life.

A lot of people have said to me "How can you be body positive if you changed your body so much/lost so much weight?". (This was a question that stumped me for a long time)

I realized that body positivity/acceptance was just the first step to overcoming the hatred I had for my body and weight. I learned to love and accept all body types because there is not just one ideal body shape and that everyone is unique. I also had to learn that my body was just an extension of myself and it did not define who I am. So I went from learning to love my body, to realizing it was just another part of myself (no more important than any other). So at the beginning of my WL journey, I didn't hate my body and desperately wanted to change it but I also didn't care if it stayed the same.

My Not-So-AHA Moment:

It's really common for people who have lost weight or dramatically change their eating or activity levels to have an AHA moment. It's something that made you want to lose weight or change your lifestyle.

I thought I had a million of those moments, but they were actually moments of shame. It was usually an event that led me to feel so ashamed of my body and I would vow to make a change. But in the end it was always for someone else (to be more liked, to get a boyfriend, to make my family happy etc etc).

This year was actually the first time I have ever not had an AHA moment which led to the most successful path. I was at a point in my life that I didn't care about my weight/shape but continued to gain weight because I had bad eating habits and low activity levels. I had spent so much of my life worrying about what I ate and constantly working out, I felt like I was rebelling at this point and just didn't give a shit. But I also didn't like how my body felt physically, like being out of breath most of the time, feeling sluggish or how certain foods reacted to my body.

I went to visit my friend and she told me she joined Weight Watchers Points Plus. I had always been curious about these programs, but too scared to inquire about them. After she had explained it to me, I realized it was something that could fit into my life easily and wasn't overwhelming.

*Although this program has its fault, it was most ideal to me because it was just a way of keeping track of my intake and how much (rather than telling me what or what not to eat).

When I decided to start WW, I made sure I had all my reasons and expectations in order. I had to make sure I wasn't doing this for anyone else and I wasn't doing it because I felt something was wrong with me. I didn't even set a weight number goal because that wasn't my purpose, I wanted to just start and different view against food and working out where it didn't feel like a war against myself and body.

We all have our reasons for wanting to lose weight or change our lifestyles but it is so important to make sure we have the right idea and mindset. If you do it for reasons other than yourself (and doing it to improve yourself because you think it'll make your life easier shouldn't be a reason), then you tend to get more frustrated when you aren't seeing the results you wanted.

I can honestly say that body positivity is one of my biggest tips to a successful and happy weight loss journey.

Welcome Everyone!

Hello!

My name is Michelle and you may have found my page from tumblr (too-dolly) or youtube (s2pandapple). This year I had embarked on a weight loss journey and a new healthy lifestyle change. I often receive a lot of messages or comments regarding my weight loss. So I decided to create this small blog just to create some posts answering some FAQs. I thought it would be easier for people to have something more permanent to reference.

I won't be posting on here regularly about my eating or workouts because I am NO WAY AN EXPERT ON HEALTH AND FITNESS. I also have no intention on pursing a guru status in this field. I'm just a normal girl who would like to share my views on how I lost weight in a healthy balanced averaged way.

This page was just created to answer some general questions and any that may come up in the future :)

My page is also focused on creating a healthy lifestyle change that fits your life. I don't fully believe in the weight loss culture that society has created (making us believe we always have to strive to be smaller). I am very body positive and would like to make sure people don't the impression I am a 100% fitness activist. I would like to make this a safe place for people who love themselves but maybe want to change up their lifestyle a bit.

I hope you enjoy my blog and please feel free to leave comments or messages :)


- Michelle